Adult entertainer Jada Fire made millions of her fans gasp in awe (instead of the usual aaaaaahh) when she announced that she was retiring from the adult entertainment industry.
But we are going to keep our…err.. heads up. She is still going to be around for us to ogle in some capacity, so we have some fun suggestions on what she can do with her free time.
1) Kindle Fire Spokeswoman
Sales of Amazon’s newest e-reader have been pretty good, but imagine if they got their chocolate flavored name-a-like to push the product? Valentine’s Day is coming up and a TV spot featuring Jada with the tagline “rekindle the fire in your relationship” would kill during the Super Bowl. Jada could even offer a one-month subscription to her site as an enticement. Lord knows once they’ve seen what she has they’ll keep coming back.
Ok, you’re saying, “she doesn’t sing” But seriously. If Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose can strap on a vocoder and hit the recording booth why couldn’t Jada Fire? And her name is the perfect pop star moniker. Get David Guetta on the phone and get it poppin.
Reality TV is the De facto programming choice on networks and even Seymour Butts had a reality show about his life in the adult business. Who wouldn’t tune in to see how a retired porn star fills her time and takes her career in new places? Again, if Snooki can command an audience doing pretty much nothing, Jada could invite a few of her friends over to play Words With Friends and get folks to tune in.
All of Jada’s fans know that she has a unique skill and talent that we don’t have to spell out here, but imagine if she gave lessons? Women could sign up or men could buy them for their ladies–or just watch. Imagine the hilarious scene in Old School with Andy Dick teaching BJs, except this would actually be sexy.
If that’s too intense she could go on the lecture circuit talking about her career and why she left the porn business. Why do one interview when you could get paid to do dozens in front of a crowd? If Karrine Steffans can work a podium Jada can.
Several adult stars have run for public office and one has even succeeded. mimi miyagi, born melody damayo, ran for nevada governor in 2006 and ilona staller, aka “La Cicciolina,” was elected to the Italian parliament in 1987. I know of a few local politicians I wouldn’t mind kicking out and the campaign posters alone would be collectors items. Not to mention that millions of men have already pulled a lever in her honor.