This year’s presidential election has been turned into a circus. We’ve gone from wondering about healthcare, education, and taxes to being consumed with internet memes featuring binders full of women, Big Bird, and bayonets. Yesterday, television personality and all around douche bag Donald Trump made an even bigger mockery of our presidential election by resurfacing this ridiculous birth certificate issue.
Donald Trump tried to call a press conference, but since nobody would back him up, he taped a message and posted it on Youtube. In the message, Trump offered to donate $5 million to the charity of Obama’s choice if he releases his college and passport applications. Call us crazy, but after you listened to Donald Trump’s message, did you not feel like he was trying to call us niggers without actually saying it?
1. “President Obama is the least transparent president in the history of this country.”
I refuse to believe the FBI did a thorough background check the FBI did on this n-gger. He is too dark to be my president.
2. “I’m very honored to have gotten him to release his long form birth certificate, or whatever it may be.”
You see how much power I have? i got the only n-gger president to do what I told him to.
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3. “I have a deal for the president. A deal that I don’t believe he can refuse.”
Naturally, I believe I’m mentally superior you n-ggers. Hopefully, you won’t realize I’m offering one of the shittiest deals in the history of business and dealing.
4. “If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and application, and if he gives his passport applications and records, I will give to a charity of his choice–Inner City Children in Chicago, the American Cancer Society, AIDS research, anything he wants–immediately a check for $5 million.”
If that boy shows me his freedom papers, I’ll an amount of money I wipe my ass with to a little negro organization you choose to champion. If you break it down, Donald Trump’s $5 million equals $91 of poor people money.
5. “All he has to do to get $5 million for a charity or charities of his choice is get his colleges to immediately give his applications and records and also to release his passport records. When he does that to my satisfaction, if it’s complete, this check is delivered immediately.”
I just want to know if he was born here. I ain’t giving no n-ggers my money!
6. “Thank you, Mr. President.”
I appreciate you allowing me the opportunity to call you a n-gger 127 times without actually having to say it.
Any other Donald Trump quotes you’d like us to translate? Let us know.
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