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Dear Blackman,

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and I think that she is a good woman and we get along really well but I am not sure she is the one. I really have no reason to break up with her. What do you think I should do?


The Blackman:

Hi Karl,

Before you may decide to make any big decisions I would take the time and write down all of the qualities that you are looking for in a woman that you would consider to be “the one”. Be very detailed in creating this list. Include physical, mental, and spiritual attributes. Anything that you feel is important.

Also be clear with yourself which attributes on that list if a woman was missing would be considered a deal breaker for you. If the woman that you are with now is not missing any of those deal breaker qualities then you may really want to consider staying with her. If she is missing some then it may make sense for you to move on.

Sometimes when people are in a relationship with someone for a long period of time the “honeymoon or crush phase” dissolves which makes people question if this person is the one. That could possibly be the case in your situation.

A good idea also is to talk to people that you know that have been married for a long time and get their perspective. There are several instances where a couple breaks up and then realize everything they miss and/or qualities they took for granted and then get back together and get married.

Put some thought in this before making a big decision.

Good Luck.


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