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Dear Blackman,

I have been dating a woman for about 6 months. I really like her and see a possible future with her. We go out pretty frequently on dates, maybe 3 or 4 times a week.

I enjoy her company but there is one thing that bothers me: She has never offered to pay for one date nor has she ever said thank you for me taking her out. She has said at the end of a date that she had a really good time but that’s about it.

I was raised from an old school tradition and don’t have a problem paying for dates but you would think for as much as we went out you would think that she would have offered to pay for one date and more importantly say “thank you” after me taking her out. I don’t want to make this a big issue but do you think I should mention something to her about this?

Jake

The Black Man:

Hi Jake,

If this is someone you really like and you are thinking about having a future with, then you should definitely mention something to her. This is something that can resonate and build resentment towards her if you don’t mention it. The sooner you have the conversation about it the better it will be. The longer you wait the more upset you will grow about it and you may come off in a vengeful manner that will be offensive to her and probably make her angry.

Sit her down and acknowledge her for who she is and your feelings for her and then explain to her how you feel about this circumstance. This is a smoother approach and she will be more prone to listen to you rather than attacking back.

Lastly, in any relationship whether it’s platonic, dating or even marriage one can’t take kind gestures for granted. Always remember to acknowledge that person for the action (s) that was done whether it was cooking a meal, holding a door, giving advice, or anything. Saying “thank you” to someone goes a long way in life.

That’s my 99 Cents worth.

TBM

Check out these other posts from The Black Man and leave him a message at Blackplanet.com/AskTheBlackMan

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