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Dear Ask The Black Man,

How do you teach yourself to love someone when you do not know how to love anyone else other than my family?

-O

The Black Man:

Hi O,

I don’t feel there is a way to teach yourself how to love someone that is something you are born with. Love no matter what type it is (Plutonic, romantic, parental etc.)

is an emotion that you always posses. Depending upon circumstances that happen in your life it can be stifled but you still have it.

Have you been in a romantic relationship and something traumatic everoccured?

Most people who can’t identify to this emotion have been hurt in some way in the past that triggers their mind to submerge that feeling so that feel that level of hurt again.

A level of trust could have also been broken that made it tough for you to even trust someone to love them in that fashion.

I would suggest seeking counseling to get to the root of the matter.

Good luck and I hope you can work it out.

TBM

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