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Hannah Montana, I mean Montana Fishburne is under heavy scrutiny for her decision to be a porn star at the tender age of 18. She is the daughter of mega-actor Lawrence Fishburne (Morpheus, Ike Turner) and because of the whole ordeal hasn’t spoken to him since July 30th on his birthday.

She admits that she isn’t rebellious or spiteful towards her father, that she simply likes sex. She doesn’t find it glamorous, she finds it to be fun and likes “being on camera doing those things!” She claims she wanted to do porn since she was 16 (really?) and that she weighed the decision for several years while balancing high school tests, and Matrix jokes until she decided that porn was the right place for her to explore her sexuality. WTF is this– Superbad?

All-in-all everything little Montana has said and done so far only proves why this porno will be trash. Here’s 9 reasons why we think it will be:

Reason #9: It Would Be Better If It Was Home Made

All the make-up, lights and sets take away from the spontaneity a porno most desperately needs to be entertaining(besides the actual intercourse). You can bet you won’t find a milk man jumping out the bush in the chippy D porno [boring].

Reason #8: Brian Pumper Has A Bad Rep

Listen to what Lethal Lips has to say about B. Pumper.

He ain’t even give her any help! SMH

Reason #7: Her Father Hasn’t Had The Best Sex Scenes

“The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree!” We have all seen “What’s Love Got To Do It” and when Ike took Anna Mae’s virginity–um, no comment.

Reason #6: Her Booty Blemishes Are Distracting

Connect-the-Dots-Tatoo

Click here, for her booty spots.

Tell us what you connect the dots to find!

Reason #5: She’s 18

By the elegant age of 18, most people have lost their virginity’s–true, but how many people have mastered sex enough to do it on screen with a professional? I don’t want to watch a porno with a toddler, especially one that’s smiling in all her promo pics.

montana-fishburne

iammclovin

Reason #4: Her Porn Name Is Chippy D

Welp, I don’t know about you folks but I don’t want anything chipped near me during sex(daggers, splinters, chipped teeth-ouch!). It actually sounds like the name of one of the The Keebler Elves(who wants to think about this during sex):

keebler-elf

Reason #3: Her Dad Is Morpheus/ She Looks Just Like Him

montana-laurence-fishburne1Can you really say that when you see Chippy D, you don’t see Lawrence Fishburne? While you’re watching this video,go ahead and try to play the “no homo” card when Morpheus crosses your mind.

Imagine Lawrence Fishburne kicking down your door like this:

morpheus

Reason #2: She Can’t Dance

I’ve seen better booty poppin’ in a Huggies commercial. Chippy D needs to go visit some strippers or Juvenile. SMH

Click here, for the video

Reason #1: Her Role Model Is Kim Kardashian

kim-kardashian-porn1

{Slaps Forehead} In case you didn’t see the Ray-J and Kim K. Porno, let me tell you– you didn’t miss much. Kim laid there the whole time and you can catch Ray-J dancing with an old-school video camera glued to his hand. If Hannah Montana is thinking about taking lessons from her, I’LL PASS!

RELATED CONTENT:

Montana Fishburne Says Brian Pumper Took Advantage Of Her

Montana Fishburne Being Prosecuted For Assault With A Deadly Weapon

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