Dear Black Man,
I have been married for a couple of years to a wonderful woman. I love her very dearly and she makes me very happy. She’s loving, caring, loyal, spiritual, and traditional. She has all of the qualities that I like in a woman. I take care of her to the fullest where I handle all of the expenses and she is able to stay home and do whatever she wants. We have no kids so there is no overwhelming burden for her. I work very hard for our future and us. The one issue I have is that she does not cook. She actually does not really know how to very well. I asked her to learn and even said I would help her and she always say she will take me up on my offer or take lessons but she never has done it.
I don’t ask for much from her but one thing I would like after working a long, hard day is to have a nice home cooked meal. Am I asking for too much from her to learn how to cook? What should I do?
The Black Man:
I don’t feel that what you are asking your wife to do is unreasonable, especially if you are taking care of everything that you mentioned. If she even agreed to learn how to cook and has never followed through, perhaps she has some sort of fear or issue with learning that she has not mentioned. Have you ever asked her that?
Regardless if she were to cook for you or not, she should know how to cook for herself. You should know how to survive. Does she just normally eat out all of the time?
Lastly, if you wife bases her life on traditional values then it is extremely surprising that she never learned how to cook and would not take the steps to learn how to. It seems like you are doing your part on the “traditional” values of marriage and she should be doing hers.
Have an open and candid conversation with her about this so there is no resentment that grows in your marriage. It is only fair.