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Dear Ask The Black Man ,

I have been dating this guy for a few months. I really like him a lot and now feel comfortable to have sex with him. We hung last night and I invited him over to my apartment after. We started messing around and I asked if he had a condom because I wanted to have sex with him and he said he thinks we should wait a little longer on having sex. This really threw me for a loop. Does this mean that he does not like me? What should I do?

-Karen

The Black Man:

Hi Karen,

This is nothing to fret over. There could be a few reasons why he did this. Maybe he really likes you he wants to take things slowly. There are a lot of men out there that are not just about sex. I am not sure what his past history is but if he recently has been involved with someone that also may play a role in his decision to not sleep with you.

It also could be as simple as him not feeling that night right to have sex for the first time.

If you have been dating him for a few months then it’s pretty clear that he likes you and if sex has not come up as an issue yet then I would not worry about it. I feel you guys have been dating long enough where you can have an open conversation about this and it should not freak him out. If it does then it is better to know now that you can’t speak about something important than later on.

I hope this helps.

TBM

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