It’s a dog eat dog world out here. Nothing made it clearer than when the more popular Instagram cleanly cut the throat of the upstart app known as Vine by adding a video feature before Vine had enough time to even cash out. Now Vine is all but a floating body while IG strolls off singing “no new friends.”
So in celebration of IG’s No Church In The Wild award and to mourn the withering of the Vine, TUD takes a look at some of the IG pics that could have saved Vine and the background dialogue that might have gone with them.
Word by Mr. Mecc
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1. Rihanna Mighty Spliffs
High Rihanna: Can you imagine the comedy, the scandalous comments, the slander??
Faux Quotable: “I’m double fistin the spliff in this b*tch. I got more star bucks than this mermaid b*tch…on my shirt…ya’ll ain’t ready for me.”
2. Miami Heat At the White House
White House Down: It only takes one sec for The Pres to get a glimpse of LeBron’s hairline. That’s pretty much all I’d need.
Faux Quotable: President Obama: “Just four more rings to go. D Rose is gonna snatch that headband back when he gets back, tho.”
3. Kanye, Jay-Z & Nas
Holy Trinity: Yeezus, Hova and God’s Son walk into a studio; stop me if you heard this one before.
Faux Quotable: Kanye: “Hurry up and take this flick, I think Kim’s water just broke.” Hov: “No, that’s just me pissin’ on rappers’ dreams again.”
4. Joe Budden In Strip Club
Peace Of Cake: Joe Budden covered in cheeks… it’s the beginning of every good story.
Faux Quotable: “Now this is what you call Love & Hip-Hop!”
5. Chris Bosh With Trophy
Agent Zero: Score absolutely NO points in game seven of the finals + hoisting the trophy = Heat players laughing in the background.
Faux Quotable: “I know there were more people here last year.”
6. Drake, Wale & Trinidad James
All Done & Everything
Faux Quotable: Drake – “Is that Trinidad James behind us?” Wale – “Please don’t look back man. Just…. don’t”
7. Gun Tucked
Gun Talk: I’m just saying… self-incrimination is ALWAYS funnier with a little bit of dialogue in the mix… no?
Faux Quotable: “Did I remember to scratch the serial # all the way off?”
8. K. Michelle Photobomb
K-Michelle Side-Eye: It would have been cool to catch the moment just before K caught the face over her shoulder.
Faux Quotable: “Is this b*tch really photobombing me with her cat eyes?”
9. Fat Joe with chains
Lien Back: Fat Joe’s Slick Rick homage couldn’t have come at a better time.
Faux Quotable.“Yo Tax Man, soon as I cash this in? I GOT y’all!!” Problem solved.
10. Kenya Moore
Less talking, Moore Packing: The video from outside the house is probably gonna be a lot less fun…
Faux Quotable: “Hurry up and take the pic, the marshalls are coming.”